I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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