i just had sex bonerless
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
