Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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