I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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