margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
