My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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