Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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