he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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