I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
