This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
