her vagine was all disorganized.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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