I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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