evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
