I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
