My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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