so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
