What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize