Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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