You're so nebulous sometimes
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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