WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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