just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
