It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
