You're my little dorito
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
