So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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