saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
