We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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