just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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