it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Enjoy the penises
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
