And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
