Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
