i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
