My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
sex in a hospital.. check
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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