Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
