So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
