Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
