I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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