Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You are the jesus of drinking
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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