it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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