Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
