i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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