I didn't shave. On purpose
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
