This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
