Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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