So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
