What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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