Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
