ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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