Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
