am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
