So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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