I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
