You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
