im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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