She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
