woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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