When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize