I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize