the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
