idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
