One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
