just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You are the jesus of drinking
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
