So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
